OVER FORTY AND OVER MEN!
Okay, some of you may find this blog boring, however I find it infinitely interesting. Is their latent homosexuality in women? I don’t know. It looks like there might be as some experiments indicate and there seems to be a growing trend toward same sex coupling in over forty women.
Several months ago I wrote a blog on Bi-curiosity a phenomenon where straight women wonder what it would be like to make love with another woman. I contended at the time that the only difference between a bi-sexual woman and a bi-curious woman is that one acted, while the other didn’t. This led me to believe that if the circumstances were right, bi-curious women—and there are many of them—would enter into a same sex liaison.
Now we have limited data that may shed some light on the phenomenon and the trend of maturing women. The scientific data is from a report from the New York Times in January, http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/magazine/25desire-t.html?_r=1&th=&emc=th&pagewa . The trend was reported in the March issue of More magazine: http://www.more.com/sex-dating/over-40-and-gay/ .
For the sake of brevity, I will encapsulate what the article said. Psychology Professor Merideth Chivers conducted an experiment involving both straight and homosexual men and women. The conclusions expressed in the article were derived from the results of the experiment. Arousal detecting devices were attached to all participant’s genitals and they were also given a keypad so that they could rate how aroused they felt.
They were then shown a movie of some gorilla like subjects having sex. This was followed by clips of heterosexual sex, male and female homosexual sex, a man masturbating, a woman masturbating, a chiseled man walking naked on a beach and a well-toned woman doing calisthenics in the nude.
The men, generally, responded genitally “category specific” ways. Straight males swelled while gazing at heterosexual or lesbian sex and while watching the masturbating and exercising women. They were mostly unmoved when the screen displayed only men. Gay males were aroused in the opposite categorical pattern. Any expectation that the animal sex would speak to something primitive within the men seemed to be mistaken; neither straights nor gays were stirred by the bonobos—pygmy chimpanzees. And for the male participants, the subjective ratings on the keypad matched the readings of the plethysmograph. The men’s minds and genitals were in agreement.
Not so with the women. Self-proclaimed straight or gay, they showed, on the whole, strong and swift genital arousal when the screen offered men with men, women with women and women with men. Strangely, they responded much more to the exercising woman than to the strolling man, and their blood flow rose quickly — and markedly, though to a lesser degree than during all the human scenes, except the footage of the ambling, strapping man — as they watched the apes. In addition, with the women, especially the straight women, mind and genitals seemed did not correlate. The readings from the arousal measuring device and the keypad weren’t in much accord. During shots of lesbian coupling, heterosexual women reported less excitement than their vaginas indicated; watching gay men, they reported a great deal less; and viewing heterosexual intercourse, they reported much more. Among the lesbian volunteers, the two readings converged when women appeared on the screen. But when the films featured only men, the lesbians reported less engagement than the arousal measuring device recorded. Whether straight or gay, the women claimed almost no arousal whatsoever while staring at the bonobos.
This leads to the conclusion by researchers and me that many women are either confused about what arouses them or they are in denial, possible because of social conventions. Societal pressure aside, it seems indisputable that, unlike straight men, straight women on whole, harbor attraction for other women.
Isn’t this bi-curious? In another study across the country in Las Vegas, another sexologist performed a study where volunteers wore goggles that tracked eye movement of the subjects as they were shown pictures of heterosexual foreplay. The men stared far more at the females, their faces and bodies, than at the males. The women on the other hand, gazed equally at the two genders, their eyes drawn to the faces of the men and to the bodies of the women — to the facial expressions, perhaps, of men in states of wanting, and to the sexual allure embodied in the female figures.
Other studies were reported, citing almost the same results, so assuming there is some basis to women and same sex attraction let’s move on to the More magazine article.
It was entitled “Over 40 and Over Men and goes on to outline the evolving trend of late thirty something to early forty something women suddenly feeling a new or at least stronger attraction for other women. Many of these women were married in ostensibly happy marriages and with teens or grown up children. For some they had decided it was time to react to earlier repressed urges, but for most it was like a bolt out of the sky.
Melanie Shore, who was happily married for sixteen years and professed to have a great sex life, suddenly found herself attracted to her gay best friend. As the article said: It wasn’t just the deep conversations the two shared, although, for Shore, the emotional bond was becoming increasingly intense. It was also the way her friend moved and spoke, her hair, her skin, her eyes. Her friend was so beautiful—but she was also gay, which made Shore confront a possibility that shook her to the core: Could I be gay too? “It’s not like I knew and kept it inside for years,” says Shore, who chose to be identified by her maiden name in this story. Nor, she adds, was it just an impulse, “like, ‘I want a new car’ or ‘I want a new boyfriend.’ It’s ‘Holy shit, there’s a whole me I didn’t know about, and I can’t ignore it!'”
The More article contends that although no scientifically obtained statistics bear the articles suppositions out, anecdotal evidence does as hundreds if not thousands of middle aged women turn their whole life upside down to be with other women.
How about you? Do you admire other woman from afar? Are you curious to know what the intimate touch of a certain female friend or associate would be like? Are you Bi-curious? Could you become bi-sexual or even as most of these women have, become an avowed lesbian? I welcome anyone and all to weigh in on this.
I’d hoped to have a lesbian dominated, bi-sexual novella called The Photographer ready to promote in conjunction with my blog, but alas other commitments precluded its completion. I should have it out by March so here’s a short unedited excerpt from The Photographer.
Poor baby. He did seem to be dragging.
I glanced around. “I’ll tell you what. You go to the cafeteria and rest. I still want to visit the Nikon and the Hasselblad exhibits and after that we’ll leave.”
“Good deal, hurry up.” Then leaning over, he kissed me lightly on the lips. and walked away.
I smiled and headed back the way we’d come, past the Nikon and Hassleblad exhibits to the Britek lighting display.
She’s still there. Her, not easily forgotten, large, cornflower blue eyes gazed in my direction. When our eyes met she flashed a dazzling smile. She spoke to me, but background music from a song currently in vogue from Beyoncé drowned out her soft voice.
My eyes must have displayed confusion because, she edged closer. Drawing nearer, the heady blend of her fragrance surrounded and engulfed me. Her strong gardenia based perfume teased my mind as did her beauty. Intermingled with her subtle aroma and minty fresh breath, it reinforced the arresting effect she had on me. Suddenly, I wished, little Miss Perfect and I were in Hollywood, instead of Las Vegas, three hundred miles away.
She handed me a folded brochure. My stomach lurched when her long fingers brushed across mine. “I asked, if you have any questions about Britek lighting or the Chromakey screens?” Her voice now louder.
Lydia with a ‘Y’—that’s what her nametag read. What a perfect name for Miss Perfect. I was so wrapped up in Lydia, I hadn’t noticed they sold screens as well as lighting. “Good products, both of them. I use them in my studio.”
Was it my imagination or did her eyes widen at the mention of studio.
“Oh, so you have a studio. What’s your specialty?”
Lydia, a wisp of a girl, possessed a lean dancer’s body. With her long, wavy, blonde hair, she had an elegant but innocent look. Suddenly I realized her nearness made me nervous and my breathing became labored. My gaze drifted down to her feet and languidly worked its way up. Her shoes were bone-colored, Wal Mart or maybe Ross pumps. Her ankles and calves were beautifully sculpted. Her cerulean blue, cotton dress and cosmetic jewelry were also low budget. This stunning girl did not have the money to dress the way she should. I suddenly pictured how much fun it would be fixing this Barbie Doll like creature up. I purposely spoke softly as a new recording started. “Yes, I’m a fashion and art photographer. Here’s my card.”
She took my card and once again my reaction to her touch was extreme when her stiletto tipped fingers grazed mine. Lydia eased closer. “I didn’t catch all of what you said.”
I leaned to make sure she heard me. “I’m sorry. Is it possible we could go somewhere quieter and talk?”
Her large eyes sparkled. She looked undecided, but ran her tongue over her upper lip. Demurely her gaze lowered to her watch. “Oh, yes. I guess so. I was supposed to get a break fifteen minutes ago. Let me just tell the boss and then we can go to the cafeteria.”
When Chelsea reveals what Mandy’s philandering boyfriend has been up to, Mandy’s reaction is predictable- -she’s crushed. However, her response is surprising, setting the stage for Chelsea to show Mandy the real depth of her friendship.
“You’re so sexy, you make me…” Not completing my thought, I was amazed when Chelsea completed it for me
“Want to kiss you, feel you and make love to you.” Turning she brought her delightful breasts right up to my face, but I only blubbered my misfortune.
“Yes, but I’m stuck living with a two-timer I don’t love anymore.” Sobbing, I hugged Chelsea, and then buried my head in her breasts.
Holding me tight, Chelsea whispered. “Let it out, Mandy. It’s not that bad.”
Crying on her delicious tits, I instinctively took a nipple into my mouth, sucking gently on what she offered and feeling her stiffen as I calmed.
Running her fingers through my hair, she reassured me, “Now you’re getting it, sweetheart, things aren’t that bad, are they.” Tilting my head up, she let her lips find mine.
For the first time, my tongue danced with a woman’s. Lithe and quick, Chelsea’s tongue flirted with mine, a difference I found intriguing over the crushing, taking entrance of a man’s tongue. Like warm and supple wet satin, her tongue explored my mouth and licked at my lips.
Gently pulling away from her lips, I laved my cute bartender’s ear. Full and wet, my tongue penetrated the entrance to her ear canal until her lusty moans spilled over me. Fondling Chelsea’s breasts, my fingers swirled and squeezed her nipples like I wanted from her.
“Nothing to cry about, you can get what you need with or without a man.”
Squeezing my breasts through the red nightgown, Chelsea returned my affection, making me gasp out loud. Never touched there before by a girl, I felt the humidity level rise in my panties. Smoothly, like no boy ever had, Chelsea’s fingers slipped under the red nightgown and touched my nipple causing me to flinch as shock waves shot through my body. Working quickly and expertly, she had the nightgown off in seconds. Her tongue had again slipped past my lips and swept across my teeth, probing for access to my tongue. Unsure of myself, but not uncomfortable, I opened my mouth to receive Chelsea’s offering.
She interrupted our kiss. “Have you ever made love to a woman?” Her words seemed urgent, as if she needed to know.